Chief Wiggum Quote First I Am Father Cop Father Again

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Lisa on Ice/Quotes

Wikisimpsons - The Simpsons Wiki

Skinner: [announcing to students in auditorium.] Alright, first bookish warning. Wiggum, Ralph.
Ralph: I won, I won!
[Ralph happily walks up to receive ane.]
Skinner: No, no, Ralph. This means you're declining English.
Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible!

Principal Wiggum: "We won! Nosotros won! Unfortunately, since I bet on the other team, we won't be going out for pizza."

Homer: [Standing up for Lisa in the locker room] I don't want anyone to requite her a hard time just because she'southward different: no jokes, no taunting- [spots Üter] Await, that kid's got bosoms! Who's got a wet towel? [chases Üter, laughing, while whipping a towel at him] Come here, you butterball!
Üter: Don't make me run, I'm full of chocolate!

Homer: Now that nosotros're all alone, Marge, admit information technology, you like Lisa all-time.
Marge: No.
Homer: Oh, so you're a Bart-woman are you!
Marge: No.
Homer: Well yous tin can't possible like Maggie all-time. What has she ever washed? Nothin' for nobody!

Marge: Lisa, your father and I are very concerned about this alarm. I really hope y'all endeavor harder.
Homer: Whew! That's all of 'em... and I'yard so proud you lot didn't attempt to forge my name. How about a nowadays, son?
Bart: Well, I could utilise a new pair of hockey skates.
Homer: Done and done.
Lisa: That's not fair. Why is Bart getting a present and I'one thousand getting chewed out?
Homer: Ah, the mysteries of life.

Principal Skinner: Muntz, Nelson. You lot're failing History, Geography, and Math, but, er, y'all're doing quite well in Home Ec.
Nelson: [uncomfortable] Hey, go along it downward, homo. Ha ha.

Master Skinner: [over the PA] Attending, this is Principal Skinner, your principal, with a message from the Master's Office. All students delight proceed immediately to an associates in the Butthead Memorial Auditorium. [to himself] Dammit, I wish we hadn't let the students name that 1.

Milhouse: Hey, Bart. If Lisa'due south better than you at hockey, yous call up you'll become better than her at school?
Bart: Perchance I will, Milhouse. Maybe I will.
[At school.]
Mrs. Krabappel: Who can tell me the capital of Spain? Bart Simpson. The square root of 36? Bart Simpson. Who freed the slaves? Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson. Bart Simpson, will y'all finish raising your hand? You haven't gotten one right reply all 24-hour interval.
Bart: Lamentable.

Homer: (opens motorcar door) Okay, niggling buddy, hop in!
[Bart steps forrard.]
Homer: Ah-ah! I mean my little girl buddy.
Lisa: That's very squeamish, Dad, but information technology's wrong for you to advantage tearing, competitive beliefs. However, I volition sit upwards front with you if it'south a fatherly gesture of love.
Homer: Okay, hon'.
[Lisa gets into the car.]
Homer: Sucker! Competitive violence! That'southward why you lot're here!

Lisa: Milhouse, knock him down if he'south in your way! Jimbo, Jimbo, become for the confront! Ralph Wiggum lost his shin guard! Hack the bone! Hack the bone.

Skinner: Children, the times they are a-becoming quite unlike. Exam scores are at an all-fourth dimension low, then I've come up upward with these academic alerts. [holds a stack of cards] You will receive one every bit soon as your grades start to slip in any subject. This wayour parents won't have to wait until report card time to punish yous.
Martin: How innovative. I like it!
Kearney: Hey Dolph, take a memo on your Newton: beat up Martin. [Dolph writes "Beat up Martin" which the Newton translates equally "Eat up Martha"] Bah! [throws Newton]
Martin: [being bonked on the head] Ow!

Gym Teacher: Tell you lot what, Simpson: I won't fail you if you join one of those peewee teams outside the school.
Lisa: You hateful those leagues where parents button their kids into vicious competition to compensate for their own failed dreams of celebrity?
Gym teacher: Await, I don't need this. I inhaled my favorite whistle this morning!

Homer: OK son, just remember to have fun out there today. And if you lose, I'll kill you! [everyone laughs]
Bart: Oh, Dad.
[Homer looks menacingly at Bart who and so cringes.]

Milhouse: Hey! Way to knock out my teeth!
Apu: Aye, that's information technology, Milhouse, go on up the churr.

Marge: [Covering her optics] I can't even watch. I don't know how you two tin sit here laughing at poor Lisa while she's out at that place probably scared to death.
Homer: We're laughing with her, Marge. There's a big difference.
Lisa: Aaaaah!
[Homer and Bart beginning laughing again and pointing at Lisa.]
Homer: [to Marge, quickly] With her.

Apu: We're having our best flavour ever. And I would like to say that it is because of teamwork...gee, who am I kidding, huh? It'southward all because of Lisa.

Bart: Come up sentry Telly with me, Dad. We missed the start two episodes of Cops, but if we hurry we tin catch the last three.
Homer: Aw, pitiful Bart, Lisa and I are going out for a gelato. We'd ask you to come, merely...you know.

Bart: Lisa, certain divergence, rivalries if yous volition, have come up between us. At first I thought we could talk it over similar civilized people, but instead... I but ripped the head off Mr. Honeybunny!
Lisa: Bart, that was your cherished babyhood toy.
Bart: Aah! Mr. Honeybunny! [tries to squeeze information technology back together]

[Marge hears shouts coming from Lisa's chamber and runs in to notice both kids wrestling.]
Marge: Stop it, end it, stop information technology! [flicks light on and off]
Bart: Mom, that is actually annoying.
Lisa: Bart started it.
Bart: Uh uh, Lisa started it.
Marge: I don't care who started information technology. I don't always want to run across y'all two fighting similar that ever again. We beloved y'all both: you're not in contest with each other. Repeat: you lot are not in competition with each other.
Homer: [enters] Hey! Apu just called. This Friday, Lisa's squad is playing Bart's team. You're in directly competition. And don't go easy on each other just because y'all're brother and sister. I want to see you both fighting for your parents' dearest! [flicks calorie-free on and off] Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Primary Wiggum: [to prisoners] All right, I'g going to make a fiddling deal with you mugs. I'm going to permit y'all all out to see my team play the hockey game if y'all promise to render to your cells.
Snake: Sorry, hog, we tin can't make that hope.
Wiggum: All right... all right, I'll sweeten the deal. You can see the game, you don't have to come dorsum, merely you accept to promise non to commit any more crimes, OK?
Snake: No.
Wiggum: I'll take that as a "yes". [turns the primal, lets the prisoners out]

Homer: [eating] Pass the ketchup.
[Bart slaps the bottle beyond the tabular array with his knife, Lisa catches it.]
Lisa: Y'all'll have to do better than that this night, doormat.
[Bart hits the relish towards her and she ducks.]
Homer: [catching enjoy] I asked for ketchup! I'thou eating salad here.
Marge: I won't have any aggressive condiment passing in this business firm.

Bart: Good luck tonight, sis. I'll endeavour non to injure you.
Lisa: Don't worry, I'thou wearing my lucky rabbit's head. [reveals Mr. Honeybunny's head on a necklace]
Bart: [gasps] Mr. Honeybunny! You inhuman monster.
Lisa: You want a slice of me?
[They start slugging each other.]
Apu: [pulls them apart] Hey. Hey! Stop it, stop it! Conserve your precious hatred for the game.

Announcer: And now, to honor America, here's Krusty the Klown.
Krusty: [singing] Oh say, tin can you see..La la la, da da lite, what and so proudly nosotros... ya la la yah...oh... I shouldn't take turned down those cue cards.

Marge: [after Jimbo trips Bart] He tripped my boy! I demand vengeance. I want vengeance!

Homer: Oh my God, Marge. A penalty shot with only four seconds left. It's your child versus mine! The winner will be showered with praise; the loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore!

[Bart and Lisa suddenly have flashbacks of caring for each other every bit toddlers, and decide to permit the game end in a tie.]
Bart: Slap-up game, Lis'.
Lisa: Keen game, Bart.

Snake: Those kids are, similar, so sweetness. [sobs] If only they had peewee hockey when I was a lad. [sniffs] Oh well. [grabs a crowbar and rips seats apart]

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Source: https://simpsonswiki.com/wiki/Lisa_on_Ice/Quotes

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